Building on the themes from last week’s interview with my mother, episode 26 is all about family and shame. As mentioned in my shame series, I increasingly see shame as a form of childhood. Shame is natural, especially in young children who aren’t mentally and physically prepared to survive on their own. But at a certain point, we need to demystify shame in order to become healthy adults. Perhaps, as noted by Carl Jung in his book Man and His Symbols, we need some kind of modern initiation rite like the kind practiced by many indigenous cultures (which is, in effect, what I would call a “shame breakthrough”). We need some way to transcend the classic family hierarchy that Baby Boomers and Millenials seem stuck in and create a new egalitarian family group that is more akin to peers or close friends. This is all informed by my own struggles with adulting, and how it has only recently occurred to me that to become a true adult essentially means becoming your own parent.
As I mention in this episode, some of my thinking was fuelled by a “family meeting” we had this summer after a 12-year hiatus following my fateful coming out. On a related note, inspired by family meetings gone awry, I wrote a short film many years ago that never got made, you might find it amusing. You can download a copy of the script here: THE FAMILY MEETING
