Last summer, I attended a 9-day International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication on an island off of Stockholm, and to my lucky surprise, one of the trainers at the retreat happened to be Swedish shame expert Liv Larsson.
Liv is an author, educator, mediator, and certified NVC trainer who has written over 20 books. During the IIT in Sweden she led us in several shame related workshops and I was so impressed that I immediately bought and read her insightful book Anger, Guilt and Shame. And when I learned that Liv would be doing a 3-day course dedicated to the topic of shame, guilt, and anger in Bucharest, Romania this November, I made sure I was there!
Liv looks at shame and what she calls the “compass of needs” (a map of the 4 most common shame reactions) through the lens of NVC, providing practical advice not only on how to deal with shame personally, but how to deal with other people when they are in the reactions described by the compass. Her extensive experience using NVC in mediation work shows what a powerful tool understanding shame can be in resolving conflict and creating connection.
Liv joins me from Sweden for this fascinating interview in which we explore how shame works, how to transform shame, how to deal with others when they are in shame, and much, much more. Not only did I have several epiphanies while conducting the interview itself, but every time I’ve listened to the interview since, I’ve come away with some powerful new insights!
You can find out about Liv’s workshops and join her mailing list here: www.friareliv.com
And you can read more about her work and her books here: www.livlarsson.com
Note: this interview was edited for clarity.
